A good friend of ours in San Angelo is a photographer and she took some great shots of Holly about a month before Gwen was born. I’ve finally taken the time to get them on the web. They came out wonderful! - view the album here

I feel really compelled to write this because I just got done watching the movie “Stop Loss.” There are few things about Hollywood movies’ portrayal of the war in Iraq that just bug me. Now, I will give the disclaimer that I am not an infantryman. I did not deploy to Iraq and do patrols every day. I did not shot anybody, I was never shot, and I never personally witnessed anybody die. However, I have met plenty of people that have experienced all of the above.

Here is the main problem I have. Movies like “Stop Loss” and “Home of the Brave” and even the TV show “Friday Night Lights” tend to portray every soldier that faces combat as severely traumatized and unable to function in today’s society back home. I think all of that have served in Iraq have changed. Some of are more quiet. Others of have a hard time enjoying the things we used to enjoy. Most of us have bad dreams that reflect some of the more dangerous moments of our deployment. We may get startled at loud noises and over time we’ve been able to hide that externally, but on the inside our heart rate doubles and we think about the time it was real. But come on… we don’t all get home and start fights, stalk criminals and beat them down and put a gun to their head like they were “Hajji”, and beat our wives/girlfriends/etc. Not all of us resort to alcohol to ease our tension and no, not all of us NEED to stay in the Army because it’s the only sense of belonging we have left.

To the movies’ credit, they almost all portray reservists and not active duty soldiers. It may be hard to be working at an office one day and then find out you’ll be spending the next 15 months deployed. It probably isn’t easy doing that time and then going back to that office job without the long taper down of shortened weeks and soldier friends to talk about the things that happened. But still, “Stop Loss” showed four friends come home and they were all messed up in the head. “Home of the Brave” followed four or five soldiers that all start acting crazy. They both try to have the one person that seems ok, but they really aren’t. In the end, they both decide that they have to continue in the Army and deploy again with their fellow soldiers.

It’s Hollywood people. Please don’t think your friend or family member is going to flip out on you and don’t think that just because we deployed we’re bound to flash back and go Army Strong on you. Some of us are just changed a little but we’re the same person. Please don’t take any of this as discrediting those that really are suffering. PTSD is real and it has affected so many. It’s not just a label. The point of this blog is that 100% of don’t come home and have PTSD. And finally, re-enlisting isn’t the best option for somebody dealing with PTSD. Having loving friends and family that make that soldier feel secure will go so much further.

The Medical Evaluation Board progress is finally underway. Every soldier tends to have a different timeline, but I have been fairly proactive and already have all of my paperwork done. Some of the parts that take the longest are already done so hopefully I will know soon if the Army is going to keep me or kick me out. I’ve heard as soon as 30 days, but once again, there’s really no way to know. I’ve been at Ft. Hood for a few days taking care of the final medical stuff. I just finished my full physical evaluation today. For the most part, the prognosis is definitely leaning toward being put out of the Army.

While nothing is for sure, if I do get out we will be moving back to Virginia. I really want to move back to Charlottesville, where I lived when I joined the Army. It’s a beautiful area there and I think (hope) I still have a few friends around the area. It’s been 7 years though since I left! My sister really wants us to move up by her, in Stafford. This would be great because we could swap taking care of the kids every now and then and I like most of my sister’s friends. However, it also means I’ll have more commitments living closer to family… not that they are bad, just that they can come up with little notice! I’ve spent so much of my life on my own away from the family that it would probably be harder to live too close to them. Charlottesville is almost 2 hours away ;)

I’m really excited about the new GI Bill recently passed. Before the bill, I didn’t even have the GI Bill because I chose the student loan repayment program when I enlisted. We were forced to choose one or the other so it was an easy choice to have $30,000 of student loans paid back. But now, I will also get the GI Bill effective August of 2009 that will pay full tuition to any state school, money for housing, and money for books. While I don’t intend to go back to school right away, at least I know I will be able to do it for free. I’m considering the Institute of Art for web design and interactive media (2 years) followed by a M.S. in Computer Science, Info Tech, or maybe even Web Design if one exists. Holly can also get 60% of the GI Bill benefits pro-rated to her 16 months of service. Charlottesville is home to the VA School of Massage and that is just one more reason to move there. But, I guess I shouldn’t spend too much time on future plans until I know for sure what is going to happen! I’m hoping to be spending Christmas with my family as a civilian.

Ingredients:

• 3/4 c sugar
• 1/3 c flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 2 c milk
• 3 egg yolks
• 2 Tbsp butter
• 1 1/4 tsp vanilla
• 4 bananas

On the stove with medium heat, stir the sugar, flour and salt while gradually adding the milk. Stir it in well then continue to heat for 2 more minutes.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Add the egg yolk and stir for another 2 minutes on the stove. Finally, add the remaining ingredients and cook for 15 minutes.

Today Gwen hit a traditional Korean milestone, she turned 100 days old. In Korean custom, when a baby reaches 100 days old, a party is thrown to celebrate the baby’s survival and to congratulate the parents. We’ve were fortunate with Ben and Anna that my mom planned the parties and took care of the food. Living in Texas, that was not going to happen. However, our friends really came through. I requested that there be no gifts, but if able, please bring a Korean food dish. The table was packed with all of our favorite Korean dishes and I do not think anybody left hungry. Another part of the 100 day party is to have rice cake; although we did not have a large rice cake like usual (resembling a birthday cake to visual this), I was able to buy some smaller, bite size rice cakes for everybody. I think all but three of the Army Korean instructors came, as well as a few other good friends at the unit. I also had to Air Force Korean instructors that I have gotten to know (Brent and Chuck) that happened to have babies about the same time. Brent’s baby was born on March 31st, Gwen on April 6th, and Chuck’s baby on the 7th. We kind of made it a celebration of all three babies. Please check out the pictures by following the link below or just watching the slideshow!
http://www.nelsondowns.com/pictures/july-2008-gwens-100-day-party

Well the process is going slowly, but I finally have all of our 2007 pictures posted on this site and on Picasaweb. I’ve also started the July pics and just have to say that Gwendolyn is getting so much more fun this month. She is smiling more, cooing, playing with things and just so darn cute. She’s holding her head up really nicely, is already rolling from her stomach to back, has nice, strong legs and loves to try to stand, and she sleeps most of the night until about 5am for a feeding. She’s just a lot of fun and such a great baby.